The Infinite Jest Challenge

Have you listened to the Bookworm interview with David Foster Wallace with Michael Silverblatt? First of all, Michael Silverblatt is simultaneously one of the best and one of the most annoying people on radio. He’s the complete opposite of a shock jock, but still has the same effect on me as one. I’m numb after I listen to Bookworm, stuck to my seat, quivering, wondering if I should ever return to attempt an original thought on literature ever again. I suspect he keeps under his pillow his plans on how to murder Harold Bloom.

vs.

Returning to my point, in the interview [transcript available here] Silverblatt presents his observation that Infinite Jest takes the structure of - oh, what the hey, let’s just look at the interview:

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MICHAEL SILVERBLATT: I don’t know how, exactly, to talk about this book, so I’m going to be reliant upon you to kind of guide me [Sure, Silverblatt; using the carrot before the stick - he is so modest in revealing his brilliant discovery]. But something came into my head that may be entirely imaginary, which seemed to be that the book was written in fractals.

DAVID FOSTER WALLACE: Expand on that. [BAM! With the force of a train.]

MS: It occurred to me [oh, the way a butterfly lands on my French shutters and flies away] that the way in which the material is presented allows for a subject to be announced in a small form, then there seems to be a fan of subject matter, other subjects, and then it comes back in a second form containing the other subjects in small, and then comes back again as if what were being described were — and I don’t know this kind of science, but it just [that I do] — I said to myself this must be fractals. [Must be.]

DFW: It’s — I’ve heard you were an acute reader [This must be a kind of holy grail for literary public radio personalities, I assume, to be praised by DFW who memorably chronicled the ups and downs of radio host John Ziegler in 2005's The Host]. That’s one of the things, structurally, that’s going on. It’s actually structured like something called a Sierpinski Gasket [of course!], which is a very primitive kind of pyramidical fractal, although what was structured as a Sierpinski Gasket was the first- was the draft that I delivered to Michael in ‘94, and it went through some I think ‘mercy cuts’ [one can only imagine the size of a first draft of Infinite Jest], so it’s probably kind of a lopsided Sierpinski Gasket now. But it’s interesting, that’s one of the structural ways that it’s supposed to kind of [kind of] come together.

MS: “Michael” is Michael Pietsche, the editor at Little, Brown [See? Who would know that?]. What is a Sierpinski Gasket?

DFW: It would be almost im- … I would almost have to show you. It’s kind of a design that a man named Sierpinski I believe developed — it was quite a bit before the introduction of fractals and before any of the kind of technologies that fractals are a really useful metaphor for. But it looks basically like a pyramid on acid — [but of course!]

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The thing I want to know is: do you actually buy this structural bullshit? I mean, if DFW said so, it’s gotta be in there, but how much actually remains of the Sierpinski Gasket? Is it simply lopsided as DFW claims or have the cuts undermined its foundation? A true evolution of an SG looks as follows:

Which would mean two things for the novel: (1) all the book’s narrative matter (I mean that broadly: characters, plots, motifs, pages, chapters, etc) must come in threes and (2) there must be left in the center of the book infinite lacunae in the shape of progressively smaller triangles.  (Maybe if the book came with a hole in the middle, it would be easier to read?  Baltika through the spine?)

Forget a Sierpinski Triangle, DFW might as well come out and say that it’s a Sierpinski Pyramid for all that we can understand from that! It’s an interesting shape to be sure due to its lack of a controlling center (which has its narrative and thematic purposes), but so does a donut! I can think of many three-sided relationships in the novel, but those same relationships could also be thought of as cyclical. Infinite Jest = Sierpinski Gasket or glazed corner shop donut? [just kidding, I like the SG structure; it's just amazing that the given structural cipher to the novel has to be something so beyond us earthlings. Does DFW realize that sometimes he's edging on self-parody? Yes, he probably does.]

Question: How does one comfortably hold a 1,000 page novel?
Four nearly-rhyming answers:

1.) BOOK ON HEAD
I’ve found that one of the most enjoyable ways to read is by sitting in a slightly reclined position with a book over my face. Nothing blocks out the harsh burning light of my reading-lamp for a short nap quite like 1,079 pieces of paper + cover. Infinite Jest is actually ideal for this in multiple respects. Being paperback, it easily drapes over my head, but is long and wide enough to keep out light coming from all angles and heavy enough to stay in place. Sadly, not much reading gets done this way and we’re on a tight schedule, so I’m trying my best to avoid this one for the time being.

2.) BOOK IN BED
The hard thing about reading in bed is finding a way to support the book. Leaning it against my knees is always an option, but I inevitably want to lie down at some point. Once I lie down, I can’t see the book without holding it up in the air. Not really an option for any extended period of time with this tome and my little arms. But there’s hope out there for the truly committed. Where? The Skymall catalogue, of course! What ridiculous new piece of crap can they find/create to solve this problem?

As cool as this woman looks in these glasses (is she reading in a furniture store?) I just don’t think that this is a $50 problem. There must be a cheaper, more elegant solution out there somewhere.

3.) BOOK ON BREAD
Another great way to read is obviously by sitting at a table or desk. Unfortunately, my neck and back get tired if I have to lean directly over a book for long periods of time. A baguette like this one is helpful for supporting the full length of the book and its textured surface holds it in place. But not even bread provides a complete solution. Depending on conditions, the baguette may become stale, moldy, or eaten. I’ve also discovered that it doesn’t keep the book at quite enough of an angle for me to read comfortably.

4.) BINGO!
At last…Not only is this Baltika 6 bottle the perfect size and shape to support my book in an optimal reading position, but its contents may come in handy after certain sections of the book. Say, footnotes 24, 110, and 123.

Yeah! I can do self-portraits too. : )

Five days, twenty tylenol, and fifty plus hours of sleep later, my flu has finally succumbed to the power of my immune system. My speedy recovery spares you all the cringe worthy posts I had planned to use to postpone any further discussion of the book, including: (1) a personal biblio-biography, (2) a personal timeline of things worshipped and things feared (à la Todd Levin), (3) my favorite online dictionaries.

I’m looking forward to the next 700+ pages, as you so helpfully pointed out. It feels like we started reading this book weeks ago, not just eleven days. Eleven days? Inconceivable! Is it possible that Infinite Jest is affecting my experience of the time-space continuum? How is my experience of reality different because of David Foster Wallace’s words? My life does seem to be made of many narrators all of a sudden.

In the interest of experiment, I want to reverse this newfound strangle hold DFW has me locked into and instead impose reality on Infinite Jest. A reverse neck breaker of literary proportions, if you will. This time, I, the reader, will take charge over the book. No longer will I sit complacently wondering how Infinite Jest may devastate my well conceived opinions and thoughts. I have branded ye, O DFW! You now exist in a universe containing only two choices!

But I’d like you to know that in all truth, I’m only for one thing this campaign season with no sign of flip flopping.

Well, we must be about a third of the way through now. Here’s how things stand: Aaron, who actually has things to say about the book sometimes and is helpful for solving technical problems in my posts, is bed-ridden. I am finally caught up on my reading and have found everything after page about 200 much easier so far than everything before that point (I don’t THINK that this is because I’ve suddenly gotten smarter) but don’t have anything to say today besides this: Last night I left Infinite Jest on my bed when I went to sleep. I didn’t have any book-inspired dreams, for which I am grateful, but I did wake up in the middle of the night wondering why there was a brick on my feet.

Too fat to hang out with the other books. How sad.

Although I * knock on freshly polished wood * do not have the flu, I’m also a little behind on my reading and dead-tired. So for now you’ll just have to be satisfied with the fascinating results of the research that I promised way back on Day 4 on Lemon Pledge as super-sunscreen.

A little background for those who haven’t been lucky enough to read Infinite Jest: David Foster Wallace goes on and on in one section about how the students at the Enfield Tennis Academy spray Lemon Pledge on themselves before outdoor-matches for all-day protection from sunburn. Yes, this seemed unlikely to me, but I’ve heard of people doing crazier things. I was intrigued. Could it be true?

My research started (but for once did not also end!) on Google, where I learned that Lemon Pledge is great for protecting motorcycles FROM THE SUN (on the right track here…), repels spiders, and contains more lemon juice than Country Time Lemonade, but I found nothing on its sun-shielding properties for humans. Many people complained that their beauty-products smelled like Lemon Pledge, but it seems that in the entire history of the internet, there has been no one brave/stupid enough to try the real McCoy.

Undeterred, I went straight to the source: SC Johnson

Date: 01/24/08
From: consumerproducts@scj.com
To: <crcemail@scj.com>
Subject: CRC Website comments - Pledge
Product:Pledge
Comments: This crazy guy I know told me that Lemon Pledge Furniture Polish can be used as sunscreen but I haven’t been able to verify it. Have you ever heard of this? Would it even be safe to try? Does Pledge irritate the skin? Thanks a lot!

—–

consumerproducts@scj.com to me
Jan 25 (2 days ago)
Reply

Elizabeth,

Thank you for your email regarding the safety of Pledge® Lemon Furniture Polish.

We do not recommend using this product on your body; we recommend washing exposed skin thoroughly with soap and water if contact occurs. Please keep in mind that we design, formulate and test every product for specific household tasks. That’s why we always recommend using products according to their label directions.

If you have additional concerns, we recommend you call our Product Safety Department at 1-866-231-5406. They will be happy to address any questions you may have.

Regards,

Kcrista

BORING, and Kcrista really didn’t even address my question. SC Johnson may be “A family company” but it is not a fun or imaginative one. The mystery remains unsolved! Okay, I’m pretty sure that it’s all a big lie, but I’ll pay someone $5 to try it out so that we can be absolutely positive. You know what $5 would buy in Kyrgyzstan? Probably an appendectomy and a kidney-transplant. Just think about that.

Not to make light of your suffering, but it could be worse. THIS much worse.

Right, the book:

I’m enjoying it more than I was before and think that the sections on addiction in particular are intense/fascinating/sad. There is some admirable writing here, but I don’t really like the feeling that I have to dig through a snowdrift in some chapters to get to it. I fail to see the artistic point in making some of this quite SO convoluted, but whatever. It’s his book. The going really has been easier for the past two days, though. You might have had trouble finding good vocabulary words even if you had looked! I’ll try to get to that tomorrow, but may just forfeit this one to you. Your scores of 0/10 for accuracy, 11/10 for ingenuity will be hard to beat.